You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I wannas sexs uuuuu
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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