Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
