THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
