I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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