he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
