Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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