I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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