Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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