you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
