we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
