its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
