I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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