Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
i out mim tonsoeep
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