Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
