"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
he fucked my hip out of place.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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