I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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