Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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