just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
