Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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