he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
sarcasm needs its own font
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
