we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
