I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
