your room smells of hookers.
And success
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
