I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Randomize
