thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
