PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
two words: eviction party
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
