Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
