I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
