Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I faked an abortion last night.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
