I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
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We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
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I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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