You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
