Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
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