check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
