we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Randomize
