Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
