there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I think people are normalizing furries
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize