If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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