the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
