I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Randomize
