Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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