my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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