There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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