just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
