dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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