see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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