take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
