masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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