I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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