so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
