New low: just hacked my moms facebook
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
