I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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