sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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