His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
