playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Randomize