so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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