it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
