So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
