so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
