I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
