You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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