Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
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