you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
