Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
